Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Excuse me please I'm a Lions supporter (mostly)

Amy Cassidy and probably a few others just had a heart attack reading this title as everyone know I'm not. but they released a series of complaint letters and I couldn't resist reprinting them. So read and enjoy: (taken from here)

A tough request
Dear Lions,
I am a local Woolloongabba resident who lives quite close to your stadium. As you might know, the annual Riverfire event is on the same time as your match this weekend against Geelong (2007). In order for me and my guests to enjoy the full impact of these fireworks against the night sky, could you please turn off your Gabba lights for the duration of this display? The game could be halted while we all enjoy a better view of Riverfire, then you could quickly switch the lights back on to resume the match straight afterwards. Regards Rita

Our youngest rejection letter
Dear Brisbane Lions,
I am six years old. Thanks for the offer but I barrack for Collingwood so no way. I don’t want to join the club. Signed Lachlan

Not happy
Dear Sir,
Enclosed is my ticket for the one and only time that I have attended a Brisbane Lions match. That the Lions lost is not the issue, that I purchased a ticket to attend a genuine sporting event, and was defrauded of that by one of the most abysmal excuses for AFL that I have ever witnessed is the issue. Frankly, I believe that you have failed under the Trade Practices Act, and Consumer Affairs to fulfill your part of the bargain. Therefore, I am obliged to ask for a full refund as compensation for the Club’s failure to honour their part of the contract. Sincerely DJS

A back-handed compliment
Dear Lions,
I met Browny’s Dad a year or so ago and I must say that Jonathan’s Mum must have some real mongrel in her because Brian was as gentle as a Seeing Eye Dog! Ta. Paul

An email ‘about face’
(2008, Half-Time, Lions v Port Adelaide, Rd 4 - AAMI Stadium - Lions trailing by 35 points)
Dear Lions,
You idiots. I am watching the most insipid and pathetic performance from a football team ever in the history of AFL Football. I’m going to tear up my membership after this game from the sheer shame of it all.

(2008, Full-Time, Lions v Port Adelaide, Rd 4 - AAMI Stadium - Lions win by 20 points)
Dear Lions,
Your 67-point turnaround was a great and unforgettable effort Lions. How I jumped and screamed from my lounge room. I’m sorry that I might’ve been a little hasty with my email at half-time but I still don’t like the white guernsey. Go Lions!!!

From a Swans supporter
Dear Lions,
I am a Swans fan since the day I was born in South Melbourne in 1943. After the incident with Barry Hall and Brent Staker I cried because Bazza really is a lovable guy. Do you think you could ask Leigh to put out a plea to all Brisbane supporters not to boo the poor bugger when he makes his return? A sincere thank you to Leigh. Yours Lorraine

‘Don’t leave home without us’
Dear Lions,
Can someone tell me my membership number please? I am in China and do not have my Lions membership with me. Thanks and regards, Rod

Good on you son!
Dear Lions,
My name is Ben and I am 12 years old and have been a Lions supporter since I can remember. No one else in my family follows AFL except for me. I live in Geelong and as you may expect I tend to get a huge amount of grief from my classmates for following a different team but I have a Brisbane Lions jumper that I still wear every time they play. I’m not telling my friends that I even sent this email as they would destroy me but we’ll be sitting in Bay 5 for the game tomorrow. Go Lions! Ben

Some armchair advice
Dear Lions,
You probably get plenty of advice from armchair warriors but I have to ask you to tell Josh Drummond that if he doesn’t have a lead up-field, not to wave his arms around. This does nothing for the confidence of our players and everything for the opposing team. Tell him if he has no leads just to boot the bloody thing as far upfield as possible. Thanks guys, Charlie

Anthony Corrie fan-mail
Dear Anthony Corrie,
My name is Bec and I am a huge fan of yours and the Lions. I even have every player's birthday in my phone's calendar so this means that I knew it was your birthday yesterday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Also, I was wondering, I was at the game on Saturday night and I had a sign sitting in the front row. Did you see my sign? It said 'Happy Birthday Corrie! My Number 18’. I saw you kind of glance over at one point but I wasn't sure if you were looking at my sign or hopefully checking me out. It would be really good if you could email me back though. Thanks, Bec

That white clash guernsey
Dear Lions,
Are we running out of money and that’s why we can't afford to pay for any colours on our clash Guernseys? Regards Steven

and for those who do like AFL a short article on my God Parent's Grandson (Matt Lobbe) can be found here

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